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The Honest Guide to Content Marketing Jargon

The Honest Guide to Content Marketing Jargon

The Honest Guide to Content Marketing JargonUpon entering the always glamorous world of content marketing, I found myself overwhelmed by what I initially thought to be a lot of really important terminology. It seemed for a while like no one was even speaking English; content marketing had a language all its own. Terms like bounce rate, conversion, unique visitors, anchor text, buyer’s journey, and search engine optimization seemed to be thrown around in conversation and in content marketing blog posts in a steady stream, and I had no idea what any of these words meant.

As a newbie, I was pretty concerned about my lack of knowledge. I lost sleep about it. Well, I considered losing sleep about it. Then I had a nap.

Anyway, now I do know what those terms mean, and I finally understand why no one ever wanted to explain them to me. This is because after working in content marketing for a while, you realize what these principles are really about. Sure, there are real, technical definitions for each of the following terms, but anyone who’s ever worked in content marketing knows that these honest explanations are far more accurate.

1. Search Engine Optimization (SEO)

How do I make search engines like me? What do I have to do to be popular? Cut my hair differently? Wear designer clothes? Drive a nicer car? No matter how desperately I try to keep up with the trends, I’m always a step behind. What do you mean, Google has a new algorithm?! Can’t they just pick a bird already?

2. Call-to-action (CTA)

Dear Website Visitor: I bought you flowers, took you out on a lovely date, and told you how beautiful you are. And I even meant it. Then I texted you today, and I got no response. I’m not asking you to marry me, for goodness’ sake––I just want to know if you like me! I just want some positive attention! Can’t you reciprocate a little bit? (Answer a CTA, though, and you’re basically asking me to propose. Just so you know.)

3. Evergreen Content

You know what never goes out of style? Puppies. You always have a safe bet with puppies in your content. Puppies drinking water, puppies running in fields, puppies falling over their own clumsy little feet—anything with puppies will do. Who cares if it’s relevant to your company? It’s evergreen.

4. Twitter Marketing

You might not even know what my company sells, but you do know that we’re really good at being clever in under 140 characters. #winning

5. A/B Testing

Which jeans make me look less fat: the blue ones or the red ones? Red? Are you sure? Will I get more dates if I wear these? How many more dates? Can you please give me some quantified data here?

6. HyperText Markup Language (HTML)

I’m sorry. I don’t speak Computer.

7. PageRank

I’m thinking about running for homecoming queen, but I’m a bit concerned that I won’t be able to get enough votes to win. I’m trying to introduce myself to as many of my classmates as possible, but it turns out that people don’t want to be your friend when you clearly just want them to vote for you. It’s not that I don’t have any friends––it’s just that none of them happen to go to this school, and apparently that means their votes “don’t count.” The injustice of life’s popularity contest, I tell you!

8. “The Ultimate Guide to Content Marketing”

The Barely Adequate Excuse for Information that May or May Not Be Vaguely Related to Content Marketing.

9. Landing Page

Muahaha! Now that I have you here, there’s only one way out! Bye bye, navigation! Hello, conversions! (What’s that, you say? You don’t like giving up your personal information? Well, tough cookies, bub! You’re going to have to give me something valuable for this ebook I’ve been slaving over!)

10. Content Marketer

A brilliant mind who can spin anything to make it relate to almost any industry. Fueled by coffee, this magical creature is constantly seeking ways to make even the most mundane information exciting. As a highly trained wizard, this professional can bring a once-invisible brand into the public eye. Though generally even-tempered, the content marketer does not take well to ill-placed puns or bad grammar.

If you’re still new to the world of content marketing, the above list must have confused the heck out of you. Never fear—there’s still lots of time for you to learn how to use landing pages with CTAs to improve your ROI and PageRank with evergreen content and SEO tactics. In other words, there’s still lots of time for you to learn how to become well-liked by (a) your target audience members and (b) search engines; all it takes is creating and distributing quality content.

Image sources: Khakimullin/, Marc Chouinard/, Stux/, Baruska/